Guilty Pleasure

I smoked a cigarette yesterday.

I've actually smoked a few in the last couple of days. Technically, they are clove cigars, but it's the same concept (only probably worse for you).

I can understand how people get addicted to nicotine. I spent a lot of time last night thinking of why that is. First, and most obviously, it's designed to be addictive so you will continue to buy it. Second, it's a quick and easy way to relax. When I smoke, I can physically feel myself loosening. It's kind of an interesting rush. The nicotine nudges the pleasure receptors in my brain and it's a nice feeling. I know that I have felt a similar stimulation in other areas of my life. While there is nothing quite as instant as smoking, it's important to be aware of other aspects that tickle my receptors. For example, I get passionate about the human developmental process, learning how to live sustainably, starting a new sewing project, etc. I enjoy discussing (usually in some kind of outrage) the way society can ruin people. I could go on forever about the ridiculous ideas children receive from the media, and how most people do not understand how vulnerable their brains are.

This is why I love Grace. She is one of my best friends and she understands exactly where I'm coming from. She has studied child development for a few years now and we can sit and discuss behaviors that children learn at young ages and how it affects them for the rest of their lives. While Grace studies and spends time with infant-toddler age, I enjoy talking with middle or high school students. It wasn't long ago that I was in high school, but I work with a lot of people in that are between 15 and 17. They kind of fascinate me. Everyone has some kind of struggle that affects them. I like to talk to them about their lives, what's going on, things they enjoy doing, and how they function and cope.

I get more of a rush, than I feel when I smoke a cigarette, and I feel like my brain has been better stimulated when Grace and I discuss child development.

I find this to be a positive stimulation. We discuss different methods to help children grow and develop into full, well rounded, and self-aware adults who are able to take responsibility for their actions and continue to grow throughout their entire lives. These discussions will hopefully help Grace and I to explore our own career paths. We will choose futures that will satisfy our individual and specific passions.

Smoking cigarettes gives me a temporary buzz that is detrimental to my health, the health of others, and the environment. This is unfortunate because sometimes it takes a little more work to stimulate my brain in a beneficial way. It'd be easier to light a cigarette.

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT. That is exactly why you should fight and resist the things that are easy, but bad for you. It's so much easier to swing by Wendy's and pick up a Junior Cheeseburger, for a dollar, on my way home instead of making brown rice, grilling chicken and steaming some broccoli. The cheeseburger is going to satisfy me for just a few moments, mostly because it tastes good. Unfortunately, about halfway through my burger, I start feeling queasy and uncomfortable. The feeling becomes worse with each bite. Then, for the next hour, I will be silently regretting my impulsive and lazy decision to eat fast food. But, if I had gone home to make myself dinner, I would have been doing my body a favor, while enjoying my meal. Rice, chicken, and broccoli is a delicious combination of nutritious foods. It gives my body strength, keeps me full longer, and makes me feel better. The fast food will give me a temporary "buzz" but leave me feeling unsatisfied with the knowledge that my body hates me for a few hours.

Cigarettes can fill holes in your life, but just at first. They tickle your pleasure receptors and you feel better. Eventually (some people faster than others), you'll be addicted to the nicotine and you wont feel the initial rush and pleasure you once received from a cigarette. You will continue to smoke because you are physically addicted and nothing else can fill that void you've created for yourself. Of course, you can receive happiness or pleasure in other areas of your life, but it's almost like you've created a whole new receptor that only the nicotine can satisfy.

No, I have not personally reached this point. I do not plan to.